I
often thought why do we have this underlying need to somehow chance the person
we are in relationship with. I think I’ve seen more relationships over the
years go down the drain due to this, than anything else. Instead of taking a
person as they are, we try to mold them into some idea we have in our head of
how they should be. I know balance is hard to maintain and often someone in the
relationship ends up being the more dominant partner. In fact I don’t think
there is nothing wrong with that up to a certain point. Some of us desire the
security this sometimes brings. And I am not talking about someone deciding
everything for you, but if your natural instinct is to take your life savings
and hit the casino when the Friday night comes along, maybe it would be a good
idea to have someone there to sit you down and suggest that maybe this is not a
good idea.
But
here’s the thing, if you want your partner to behave differently than what they
are, you’re possibly heading for a disaster. Of course people can change, but
the change has to come from them, you cannot change someone. Sure we can alter
our behavior to suit someone else, but if that is not who we really are, it is
only matter of time before something is going to give in. Sure we all are on
our best behavior at the beginning of relationship, but you need to learn to be
yourself with someone before you have any chance of a survival. And for the
love of all the greatness in this universe, talk people! Talk before you are too
deep in the relationship. It is never a pretty sight when you have three kids
and a mortgage and you realize the person you are with is not really what you
thought they were.
And
we always like to feel like we are the victim. This is basic survival; our mind
tries to protect us from the hard stuff, which is admitting there might be
something wrong with us. But in most relationships both parties make mistakes
and both parties need to look into themselves. If you instead try to look at
what you are doing wrong, like for example even allowing someone to push you to
act a way that is not you. You need to ask yourself why are you allowing this
happen to your? And I bet deep down the truth is not trying to save your
relationship, it’s trying to avoid facing the hard stuff.
So
yeah, deep song once again. I had to visit some old wounds from years ago with
this one. But as always, I believe by talking and singing these songs not only
do I get it out of my system, but I hope it can be a light for someone in a similar
situation right now. So please share this week’s song “Take Me As I Am” with
someone you think might be affected by the subject of the song. And thanks for
listening.
P.S.
Journey Instruments OF420 once again on this track, for those of you looking
for more sound samples of this wonderful guitar.
J.P. Kallio
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