I’m
sitting on the stage in the Porterhouse. It’s only 45 mins to Sliotar‘s
Saturday night set. I’ve set up my equipment and I am strumming my guitar, just
for myself. The house sound system is on and playing whatever is on the play
list. I’ve learned how to tune it out of my head, all I can hear is my guitar
and my voice.
I
had been a bit under the weather for a few days, but I was on my way back now.
I missed the feeling of the strings under my fingers as I press them against
the fretboard. It’s the one thing that is constant, it’s the one thing I
control and it controls me. I sing a song quietly on my own. I am not trying to
impress any one, I am just doing it for myself.
The
calluses on my fingertips are rock hard. Over twenty-five years of pressing
those strings day in and day out has made sure of that. It’s like there is this
strange triangle. In one corner is me, the humble man, flesh and blood, nothing
more. In one corner is my guitar, a trusted and dear friend, and in the third
corner is my songs. They seem to have a life of their own. I need to turn up to
write them, but they are there. And I think they are there all the time. I just
don’t see them all the time. I need to allow myself to see them, and I try
almost every day. And in most days something comes out, sometimes it’s a
struggle. I feel I am just a vehicle for these songs and I was put on this
earth to sing and “write” them. I feel it’s my duty; it’s something I must do.
But at the same time I love it.
In
my foolish youth I saw the fame and admiration through rose-tinted glasses. But
with age I learned that the songs were what all this was about. I can see how
they can touch people, give them hope. I can see they serve a purpose, which is
far greater than my mind can comprehend.
So
with my open heart I give you my songs. And all I ask in favor is that you take
them in with an open heart.
J.P. Kallio is a singer / songwriter
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